Let’s Talk About Sex

Children in “Adult” Stores?

This blog caught my attention because of the blurb from it that was shown on this website.  I was lured into reading this blog because it brought up a topic that we didn’t really discuss in class—is allowing a child to see dildos, vibrators, etc. considered illegal?  It’s obviously not, but maybe it should be.  (Although this blog doesn’t discuss this idea exactly, it discusses the fact that his sister actually got her children jobs in the same pornography store that she managed, and how this was disgusting to her).  As we work on protecting our children from viewing pornography, and being sexually abused, we are neglecting the other issues that surround pornography.

So we can’t let children view pornography, but if they find a dildo its no big deal right?  I think it should be.  How are you going to explain to your 7 year old son or daughter that the thing she is holding in her hand is for?  Although this would be a lot harder than simply protecting children from viewing pornography, I believe that if we’re going to protect children from pornography we should also protect them from viewing things such as dildos and vibrators, at least until they’re old enough to understand what they’re used for.  However, these things are only sold in “adult stores,” and therefore children don’t have easy access to them—well not packaged anyways.

We all did it when we were younger, went through our parents drawers trying to find something that we thought was in there.  What if a child went through his parent’s drawers trying to find a family photo and instead found a vibrator?  Regardless of the sex of the child, this would be inappropriate, especially when the parents had to explain what the vibrator was used for.  No-one wants to explain to their young child that a vibrator is used to sexually pleasure their mother—they probably wouldn’t even understand that, and that would lead to more questions about sex.  Although sex ed is very essential, I believe, I also believe that if a child believes his parents are doing something they are going to want to do it as well, because more children want to be just like their parents, and do what they do.  Maybe this is the reason that the age that children lose their virginity in the U.S. is decreasing rapidly.

We shouldn’t let pornography sites decide…

Although I agree that in order for the XXX domain idea to be effective there needs to be very specific guidelines for what would be required to have this domain name.  However, the major negative thing that I found about the XXX domain idea was that it couldn’t be made mandatory, according to the broadcast: “The internet’s impact on sex and society.”  If this can’t be made mandatory why is it still being discussed?

In the broadcast it was also stated that they expected the XXX domain to appear within the next few years.  But why waste time and effort passing legislation to protect children from pornography if it’s not even going to be mandatory?  Who would be the ones that would take the .XXX domain?  I believe that it would be the more legitimate pornography sites, the ones that already have age verification systems and are, in fact, of very little danger to children.

Maybe our legislation should be more concerned with making the .kids domain more interesting instead of trying to offer pornography sites an alternative to the .com domain.  In addition, I believe that there should be some kind of control that allows parents to limit their children to viewing only the .kids domain sites, (although I’m not sure if this is already available or not).

…Because Everyone’s Doing It!!

Sometimes I wonder why people begin to do the things they do, like downloading pornography, outside of the obvious reasons of pleasuring oneself.  When I was considering what was talked about in “The Internet’s Impact on Sex and Society,” I suddenly thought about an experience that I had with my best friend and other friend Danielle.  I was hanging out with my best friend, Julie, after her first semester of college, (I was still in high school because she’s 3 years older than me), and somehow we got on the subject of what Julie had done when she was drunk/drinking at college.  Although, at first, this seemed to be a normal topic for girls to talk about, hot guys, random drunken hookups and one night stands.  However, the topic changed to what Julie downloaded when she got home from a night of drinking.  Julie would come home and download porn!  This shocked Danielle and I, how could our best friend, who comes from a very well known family enjoy viewing pornography.  As I started to consider what caused this change from the innocent girl I had known before she left for college to the girl she had now become, I realized that college was all about new experiences, and also that pornography is becoming more prevalent within college communities.

However, when most people think about going to college they don’t think, “well I can download porn with the high speed Internet that I’ll get in my dorm room.”  But realistically, this is becoming the case more and more.  Not only are the guys who can’t get girls sitting in their rooms downloading pornography on Friday nights, but also the guys that have girlfriends are waiting until their girlfriends leave to go online and download some new pornography.  Even girls are beginning to download pornography, sometimes even more regularly than guys!

 This was discussed in “The Internet’s Impact on Sex and Society.”  Now that both sexes are viewing pornography on a regular basis, their need for random hookups is decreasing, because sex with a “real” person is becoming less and less appealing.  In Julie’s case, I was shocked to see just how much free pornography she had downloaded off Kaaza, which was, at that time, a free service.  What made her begin to download pornography in the first place?  Why did she keep downloading so much of it?  And what would happen if her parents or family friends found out? These were all questions that I continually asked myself for the next couple of weeks.  However, I began to accept the idea that this was what college students do, and began to believe that in order to be considered normal, I would have to start downloading pornography as well.  However, when I got to college I realized that downloading pornography was prevalent, but not necessary in order to maintain a normal social life.

Fellatio in Puma Ads!?!?

In a recent entry I discussed advertising and how it is not necessary to be as racy as it is becoming.  I decided to try and find some racy advertisements.  And I came across this link.  I found it very interesting that in the two Puma advertisements, which were, I’m assuming advertising girls shoes, the girls were performing fellatio on the guys, although all you can see is the girl on her knees and white “liquid” on her leg.  Seeing this advertisement didn’t make me want to buy those shoes, and why would it?  If the advertisers were trying to appeal to males, I question how many males would actually go out and buy Puma shoes for the girlfriend or wife simply because they saw a model in an advertisement giving fellatio wearing them.  If they were trying to advertise to girls, many girls see fellatio as degrading, and therefore would be repulsed by this ad. 

I think that this advertisement, although I’ve never actually seen it in a magazine or on a billboard before, is extremely inappropriate.  What do tennis shoes have to do with sexual activities?  Not to mention that after seeing this ad, very conservative girls are more likely to stay away from the Puma brand in the future.  I completely understand why underwear ads would show models in just their underwear, and I believe that this should be acceptable.  However the connection between fellatio and tennis shoes I can’t quite find.  More than likely this ad wasn’t produced by Puma themselves.  Maybe someone was trying to show what advertising will be like in the future if we don’t do anything to regulate it better, or maybe it was just some sick person in their basement attempting to give Puma a bad name.  Either way, it still shows us just how far someone is willing to go to advertise something.

Covered from head to toe is not the answer!

Since I haven’t been researching topics for this class as much as I used to, I decided to research Obscenity Cases in NY. The first one I came across was Nitke vs. Gonzales, previously known as Nitke vs Ashcroft, which seemed like a pretty interesting case, so I decided to research it further.

According to this article, “However, the definition of "obscenity" approved in Miller does not fit well in an online world; it is based in part on the harmful effects that adult book and video stores have on the quality of life of a neighborhood, and further defines what is obscene by whether or not the material is "patently offensive" under "local community standards" based on geographic locality.” This quote is saying that any obscenity on the internet won’t harm any “real” communities, simply the “internet community.” Realizing this caused me to consider just how big the “internet community” was, especially compared to a “real” community, therefore maybe there should be better regulation of the internet. If these adult bookstores and video stores can harm a community, just imagine what all the extremely obscene material on the internet could do to our “internet community.” However, this is a rash view, and I believe that it looks too generally at the internet and its effects on those that use it. Everyone that opens an online browser isn’t being exposed to porn, although you can easily find it by accident, the internet is getting more sophisticated, which is helping cut down on people finding pornography when they are looking for research for a book report.

As I continued researching even further I found an extremely valid point in this article, which is, “Find a community composed of more Muslims of the branch that insist women must be covered head to ankle by burkas. Within that community, bring suit against the US government, Sears, Wal-mart, etc for putting pictures on the internet of women who are not covering their hair and face. Let’s see how far Miller flies once we push its ethical relativism roots into the light. It doesn’t work in a national judicial process.” This quote was in response to the fact that the decency of a website is decided by the entire US, not just by local communities, therefore if any person found a website obscene, it was. I don’t believe that this is the answer to the problem of obscenity on the internet because of the fact that we don’t all cover our selves up to go outside, just because a specific group of people believes that anything less than completely covered is obscene.

The only solution that I can come up with to this problem of obscenity on the internet, is allowing people to regulate their own computers, maybe by some sort of parental controls (like televisions now have), but strictly forbidding material such as child pornography that is clearly illegal in the US.

“Screwed…Not Here”

I agree with this author, that advertisements are getting much more provocative than they have been in the past, and that this is mainly due to the fact that sex sells. Recently I’ve noticed billboards advertising beer that state, “Friends play ping-pong, ‘Friends’ play doctor.” Although, most likely, no child is going to understand what this billboard is actually stating, they might begin to question why “playing doctor” is on a billboard for beer. As children are more and more exposed to sex, through advertisements or television, they are more apt to become sexually active earlier.

Many teenagers used to lose their virginity their senior year in high school. However, there are many middle schoolers who are already engaging in sex by their last year in middle school. This is a scary fact. Without strict limitations on what can be shown in advertisements, I believe that this age will decrease even more. If this happens, it will benefit no-one, and the companies that use the “sex sells” theory of advertisement aren’t going to be helping find a cure for all the S.T.D.’s which will rapidly spread as children begin engaging in sexual acts younger and younger, allowing them to engage in sexual acts with more and more partners.

Although I am a liberal person, and I believe that we should have as much freedom as possible, there is nothing to gain from a provocative advertisement. There are many other methods of advertising that companies could use, however, they realize that both males and females are attracted to sex, and will more than likely pay better attention to their ads if they use this method. I’ve even noticed car dealerships using sex to get customers to visit their dealership. I recently saw a billboard as I was driving on the 190 that had a picture of a screw, and then stated, “Not here.” Whether or not this dealership intended for this advertisement to contain sex, I don’t know. However, there are many people that refer to sex as being screwed.

You’re now entering an Adult Zone…

In lecture 27, zoning laws are discussed, stating that there should be adult zones, and non-adult zones.  This greatly influences the location of adult stores, such as Pandora’s BoXXX, Video Liquidators, etc.  However, I found myself questioning how these “adult” zones were determined, and why they were placed where they were.  As I researched this further online I found a listing of adult stores in the Buffalo area.  Interestingly many of them were actually located within the city of buffalo, and very few, if any were in the suburbs of the area.

I’ve noticed this trend when I drive to my boyfriend’s house.  He lives in an apartment in South Buffalo and there are 3 different porn stores within 5 miles of his house.  However, if you drive around my neighborhood, in one of the suburbs, you won’t find any porn shops.  Actually, before I started dating him, I had only seen one porn shop in my life, and it was on Niagara Falls Boulevard (past the Wal-Mart), which is, surprisingly, in a decent part of town.  This caused me to question why there porn shops were placed where they were.  Were they placed there because of laws?  Maybe because that’s where there’s the most business for them?  Or maybe because of the reputations of porn shops?

When I think of a porn shop I think of middle aged men in trench coats going into get some late night action which they otherwise can’t get.  However, I know that this impression is wrong, and a variety of different people enter these shops.  Maybe I formed this opinion as I drove by the clouded glass windows of the shops and attempted to look at the few cars which were parked behind the shop, always at night, so there was a smaller chance that they would be seen.

Double Take

I’ve already done the opposites week assignment, but I decided to do it again with a different twist.  I’m going to argue first pro this myth and then con this myth, essentially two blogs in one.  At the end I’m going to state which position I would actually take and explain why I, personally, believe this.

Porn Myth: Men like Variety in Women so porn use helps a man stay faithful to his woman.

Pro:
Finding a guy that will stay faithful requires more than just his loyalty to his woman, but also requires that he finds a way to experience different things while remaining faithful.  Many people claim that relationships fail due to lack of variety in the bedroom and otherwise.  Therefore when men view pornography they are able to, in a sense, interact with many different women and “experience” many different sex acts, while remaining faithful to their partner.

Not every woman is willing to experiment in the bedroom, for various different reasons including the fact that they don’t want to do anything that would potentially embarrass themselves in front of their boyfriend.  However, men tend to want to experiment more often, especially if a man hasn’t found something that is extremely arousing to him.  Therefore, in order to figure out what excites them, and in order to experience things that their partner might not be willing to do, a man can watch pornography.  This is a man’s way of experimenting with things that his partner might not be willing to do, while remaining faithful.

Many women don’t consider it cheating if a guy views pornography, therefore males view pornography as an experience that they can have without the repercussions of experimenting with another female.  Pornography is the perfect alternative to a male that wants to experiment when his partner doesn’t, but wants to remain faithful at the same time.

Con:
Pornography is cheating.  No guy should need to get aroused from viewing another girl when he is “faithful” to his partner; therefore viewing pornography is considered cheating Guys simply use the excuse that pornography is their alternative to cheating in order to justify watching it.

If a man’s partner catches him viewing pornography, and they don’t approve the male is going to look for the easiest possible excuse for watching it: I do it so I can experience new things without hurting you.  However, why should women buy this bogus excuse?  Regardless of whether the man is actually touching another women or just pleasuring himself from watching her, it’s the same idea: he’s getting off from viewing another women.  Therefore men that claim to be loyal in relationships shouldn’t view pornography.

Another reason that viewing pornography doesn’t solve males problem of wanting variety is the fact that once a man finds something sexually arousing on the television screen, he’s going to want to try that sex act with his girlfriend or wife, which could put that female in a compromising position.  Therefore, watching pornography should be considered cheating, and there is no reason to watch it other than to be able to get yourself off, if you’re single and alone.

My Thoughts:
I would personally argue pro this myth.  I do agree that men like a variety in women, and, in fact, need a variety in order to remain faithful, and viewing pornography offers them the perfect opportunity to experience new things without hurting their partner.  Also, pornography often gives males ideas of what they can try in the bedroom, although their partner might not be willing to try all of the ideas that a male brings to the bedroom, most women are probably willing to experiment at least a little.  This allows the relationship between the male and female to remain interesting, and allows their sexual experiences to change from week to week, which, I believe actually helps, most men to remain faithful.  I personally allow, and sometimes encourage my boyfriend to view pornography because it gives him new ideas of what to try, and although I may not always be willing to try everything he suggests, it defiantly keeps things interesting.  Also, there are times when I may go away on vacations every once in awhile, and pornography allows my boyfriend to experience “sex” or sex acts while remaining faithful to me.

Rape is caused by Pornography

My personal belief is Con Morgan; therefore I will argue Pro Morgan.

“I claim that rape exists any time sexual intercourse occurs when it has not been initiated by the woman out of her own genuine affection and desire” (Halavais, 139).  This quote states Morgan’s belief on what rape actually is.  This definition of rape shows the public that even though women aren’t necessarily reporting these “rapes” they are being raped.  Morgan’s definition can be simplified by saying that any sexual act that a women does unwillingly or not for her own satisfaction is rape.  This being said, pornography causes rape because it causes males to become sexually aroused, and therefore they want to have sex with their wives, girlfriends, or other girls whether the female wants to or not.

Pornography causes rape because when males become sexually aroused they are almost always determined to have sex, or receive sexual pleasure.  Often times the women give in to their men’s sexual desire and perform a sexual act with them, even though they would rather watch T.V. or read a book, therefore, this is rape.  Rape happens frequently due to pornography and its effect on males and them wanting to have sex.  Therefore we need to find a way to censor pornography, although this censorship won’t be as easy as it may seem.  It will be difficult because males will more than likely be the ones who decide what gets censored, therefore these males will become sexually aroused by this and in turn probably rape women.  Therefore there is no easy solution to this problem of pornography causing rape.

My Favorite Blogs

I think that this is a very interesting blog mainly because the author doesn’t concentrate simply on the ideas in lecture as much as everyone else.  The author does a very good job of incorporating what’s actually going on in the world into this class unlike many of the other blogs that I read.  This blog can help me become a better blogger by showing me how to incorporate real-life into this class, which is sometimes very difficult for me to do.

I think that this blog is very interesting because the author picks a topic in lecture and researches it further, and often finds very interesting and informative information to include in their discussions.  I think that this blog can help me become a better blogger by showing me that I should research topics that interest me further and incorporate them into my blogs for class.

This blog is very interesting and informative.  Not only does the author talk about what’s going on in lectures, but they also find interesting things that are not discussed in lecture, like the sex-addict test which was discussed in one of the posts.  I think that this blog can help me become a better blogger by showing me how to find things that relate to lecture but that add to my overall opinion about a topic.